Five Things You Should Do For Your Kids During a Divorce

June 21, 2016

Written by Rebecca Lynch
Edited and checked for accuracy by Melissa W. Robinson

The end of a relationship with a spouse can be hard. There are so many details to worry about that the whole ordeal can be overwhelming. Throughout a divorce, couples with children need to worry not only about their experience but also about what their kids are going through. This experience is especially trying for them, so here are a few tips about what you should do for your kids during the divorce process.

1. Don't pressure them to pick sides.
There are many reasons why married couples decide to get a divorce, and some of those reasons leave hard feelings between them. Despite these feelings, you should never make your kids feel like they need to pick a parent. Having to choose one parent is far too much stress for a child, and can leave them feeling more strain in this divorce than you are.

2. Treat them with respect.
Even if your kids are young, they deserve to know what is going on. Kids are smart, and they can tell when something's not right. Be upfront with your kids about the divorce. They are a part of the family too and need to know what's happening in order to anticipate the upcoming changes in their life.

3. Don't use them as a therapy session.
Your kids will always love you and want to help you during this time. That doesn't mean that you should worry them about your problems. All this will accomplish is adding unnecessary stress to your child. If you need someone to talk to, visit a licensed therapist. They will know so much more about how to help you than your child does.

4. Don't talk badly about your Ex in front of them.
Even if you hate your Ex, your child likely doesn't. That person is still their mom or dad. Your child has their DNA, habits, and dimples. When you insult your Ex in front of your kids, they may feel like you are insulting them as well.

5. Be there for them.
As much heartache and stress as you are going through, your kids are having just as rough of a time. Make sure that you're there when they need someone to talk to. Don't try to buy their love and affection, but make sure that you give them your time instead.

This article is not intended, nor is it, legal advice, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship between the reader and our law firm. It is best to seek legal advice, as soon as possible, regarding your specific incident.